Terminally April

 You ever notice how we can usually find a way to deal with the bigger problems life throws our way, but the small things can do us in? Having been diagnosed with stage four (formerly called terminal) cancer back in January of 2016, my current condition is not totally unexpected. I had hoped for (and thought I had gotten) better, but this was always a possible outcome. I’m dealing with it with as much grace, positivity, and humor as I can muster. Today though, I’ve hit one of those points that upset the (proverbial) apple cart, something that is the straw that breaks the back of the (theoretical) camel. By the way, proverbial apple carts are probably better, as they contain no bad ones to rot the bunch, and, from what I understand, theoretical camels are much nicer than real ones, which tend to bite, spit, and be all-around bad tempered beasts. Of course, I might be significantly more bad tempered if I was known for having my back broken by (theoretical) straw.  Anyway, retur...

For me, January 10th of each year is a special day of remembrance. Had she lived, today would have been my mother’s 80th birthday. I can’t help but think about the person she would be if she was here. Those of you who know me well know my father was not an especially kind man. Had he predeceased her, I would like to hope she would have blossomed into a confident and self-assured woman of graceful age and wisdom. Instead, her life ended in 1988, at the age of 47, as a result of massive, traumatic injuries sustained in a car accident on July 24th. She was making Sunday dinner for family, and had made a quick stop at the grocery store for a few last minute items. After leaving the store, she was at a traffic light, making a left-hand turn, and had pulled into the intersection in preparation. As the light started to turn red, she went ahead and made her turn. This is something those of us who drive do on a regular basis, and usually never have need to give it a second thought. On this occa...

  Speech recognition software these days is ubiquitous, so much so that we tend not to give it a second thought. Anyone who has ever been aggravated by a seemingly endless phone tree   knows we encounter it sometimes more often than we’d like. For those of us who predate today’s incarnation though, it can seem miraculous. I remember an acquaintance in the 90s telling me about his new speech recognition software and how he was spending an hour or two each evening training it to recognize his voice and speech patterns. In the end, after all the investment of time and effort, as well as money, he ended up with something that was amazing (for the time period). He was the only one who could use it, since it only was trained for his voice, and more often than not, it had at least one error per phrase, but he could talk to his computer. Science fiction become fact. Things have come a long way since then (i.e. Google’s voice search), with myriad improvements in recent years. There is...

  When I started this blog, it was my intention to post to it every day. And you know what they say about intentions: the road to someplace even hotter than South Florida in July is paved with them. Since I’ve missed the last three days for various reasons, you can see how that’s working out for me. 😄 I say, “various reasons”, but in the end, it all works out to one: I tire very easily these days, and no amount of mental determination seems to change that fact. Just so you don’t think the inevitable has occurred, I decided I should at least make this quick post to let you know that, although somewhat busy (and tired), you are very much on my mind. With the best possible intentions, I plan to catch you up on what’s going on either later tonight or tomorrow. Know that I definitely haven’t forgotten or given up…about you, these posts, or on anything else. I often feel like willpower is one of the only things keeping me here and still functioning, and I’ve still got plenty of that. Fo...

According to Wikipedia ,   the universe is about 13.8  billion  years old. That’s so many years that it’s hard to put the number into perspective, although this site will give you some comparisons.  Let’s round it off to 14 billion. If you could live that many  minutes , you’d reach the incredible age of 26,636  years  old. In terms of longevity, our lives pass quicker than a flutter of a butterfly’s wings, less than the size of a single angel dancing on the head of a pin, faster than the proverbial *blink* of an eye. Subjectively, when we’re living them, they don’t usually feel short or inconsequential, but most of what we do, when viewed in comparison to eternity is exactly that. There’s a saying about no one on their deathbed wishing they’d spent more time working. This is why it’s so important to fill your time with the things that truly matter to you. Be kind to others and to  yourself .  In this life, a sense of humor is a necessi...

I was just sitting here thinking about how many people have wished me a happy new year. The truth is, my brother, Bill, and I didn’t really do anything special for the day. Honestly, I’m not even sure we wished each other a happy new year. I guess I get why he’s not looking forward to 2021. Barring a full on miracle (something that’s been sparse in our lives) I will inevitably die at some point during this year. Knowing and dreading the fact that that day is coming, he’s not predisposed to wanting to celebrate.  My reasons for not really acknowledging and celebrating the coming year are a little different than his. I’ve reached a point where I’m acknowledging and celebrating every single new day I wake up. For me, there is nothing special about one day over another. Unfortunately, especially with the increase in seizures recently, I can feel myself slipping. My time here in this beautiful world is getting shorter. So is yours, but most people don’t like acknowledging that. I’m doin...

 Happy New Year, everyone! Let’s hope 2021 has so many fantastic things in store for us that it at least partially makes up for the hardships of 2020, if that’s possible. Yesterday was one of those days that’s a metaphor for how life usually is: good and bad all mixed together. You enjoy the good to the fullest extent possible, endure the bad with as much grace as you can, and get on with things. Mostly, it was a good day. I got to visit with my friend Anita , who is a licensed massage therapist who specializes in oncology massage. Now, if you’ve never had a professional massage, it’s something everyone should treat themselves to at least once. You never know how much tension your muscles are carrying around until someone starts working to relieve it. For me, a massage is one of life’s great, decadent pleasures. It’s like a whole body sigh. 😌 It had been over a year since the last time we were able to get together and since the last time she treated me. I was very much in need of ...